I’ll end the title with a but; be nice to everyone as often as possible.
Something that took me a while longer than it should to learn this. I still to this day want everyone to at least not dislike me. Not everyone is going to like me; I’m not a super likeable person. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I am not the person who everyone wants to talk to, or charms everyone the instant I meet them. I can be a bit of a hard sell. I talk too much or too little, I come off a bit snobbish when really I’m just incredibly frightened of everyone (Not actually, but sometimes it feels this way), and I often have very little in common with people my own age.
I want people to like me; I always imagine when meeting people for the first time that they might become enamoured with me. I hope beyond hope that they tell others how much they like me or that I am so interesting or smart or funny. I can be those things just usually it takes a bit. Again, I’m a hard sell. I work, go to the gym, do house work, get groceries. Nothing exciting. No hobbies other than the gym. I don’t travel or go to cool concert or anything like that. I’m not saying this for pity, I’m saying it because it is true. I am not a super likeable person and I still am not over it.
You might think, “just be nicer or more approachable or learn how to talk to people.” I could do these things, but it would be fake, and one thing I pride myself on is my almost complete inability to be fake. I’m a terrible liar and I’m terrible as faking how I feel about someone or something. That’s part of why I’m a hard sell. Sure I can put on airs for a boss or customers, make small talk etc. However, I have a difficult time straight up faking my feelings. If you say something I find ridiculous or stupid, I might point it out. If I like something (like lifting) I’ll talk about it to death, usually to the point where someone will mention it. It’s that bad.
I say all this because I know that I can’t be myself and be well liked. At least not immediately. Stick around, and I’ll probably grow on you.
The other part of this post is knowing that you don’t have to like everyone. This seems obvious, I know. I often dislike people so I know. What I’m talking about is more specific. I’m talking about that person who was you friend, but something happened and now you just can’t like them anymore. You don’t have to. Stop being friends with them if you want. Or talk to them about what happened. Either way make your feelings known. I’m also talking about that person who all your friends Like, but you can’t stand. You don’t have to try really hard to like them, but you should probably be nice to them. Get to a place emotionally where their presence doesn’t really bother you anymore. Just ignore them in a nice way. The “nice” part can be difficult. And I’m also talking about coworkers. Learn to possibly ignore them. All those things that bother you about them, ignore it. You don’t need to learn to like them, just learn that in the grand scheme of things (unless they are doing things to mess up your work) they don’t matter. You have people in your life that you do like. You have family or friends, loved ones, even pets who you actually like and who most likely like you. Just be nice when ever possible as much as possible, and realize that you’re not going to suddenly like them, and you don’t have too. No matter who tells you to just try to like which ever person it is, know that you don’t have to. As long as you’ve given everyone a fair shake and aren’t expressly being mean, then that’s all you gotta do (in my oppinion). You will meet people all the time that you despise. The skill you need is to learn to ignore what you dislike just enough that their presence doesnt make you want to pull your hair out, or jump out of a window.
This was kind of a silly post. You might not like it, but as I said, you don’t have to.